I’ve noticed there is a subtle shift in exploring the life experiences of women and girls in modern Western society. It seems that previously codified ways of shining a light on taboo subjects are becoming more explicit, and not before time. Particularly evident in film, the mainstream media are exploring periods with films like Turning Red, female sexuality with Babygirl, or the frightening experience of women dating (Woman of the Hour and Promising Young Woman).
However, there is one subject which remains little explored, but which devastates the lives of women and men around the world all the time. It is time that society, and men in particular, give it the headspace it deserves because it can creep up on anyone and devastate their lives.
In 2022, Newson Health and the Family Law Menopause Project conducted research amongst 1,000 divorcing women about the effect that menopause had on their relationships:
Importantly, more than 8 out of 10 women didn’t raise the issue either, with the report concluding:
“The most common reason amongst respondents was not understanding the impact of menopause themselves, closely followed by not thinking that menopause was relevant in any way”.
It seems that because it is perceived to be solely a ‘women’s’ issue’, it is still taboo – so we are hopelessly ill-equipped to cope with it positively. It is worth reiterating that 70% of all divorces have been attributed to this stage of life, so it is a phenomenon we all need to understand and adjust to before there are consequences.
To look at the common experiences of women, there are helpful web pages around, notably:
https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/health/a61805675/divorce-during-menopause/
However, the sheer catalogue of different encounters drives home how incredibly confusing and long-lasting it can be.
Emotional and Physical Impacts
The menopause can take hold at any point within a 15 year window, making it difficult to predict and prepare for. The Fawcett Society estimates that one in 10 women leave their job because of menopause.
The difficulty is that recognition of the dangers can often come too late because there is so little signposting for sufferers of something which can be so gradual and with symptoms so often associated with other psychological difficulties. Indeed, there are stories of women seeking medical advice for suspected early onset dementia, such is the impact of menopause on short-term memory.
The consequences can also extend well beyond the woman herself; menopause causing divorce has knock-on effects for families, communities, and society at large.
With such a monumental causal link between a natural condition of life and family separation, there is urgent work needed to ensure that support is there to recognise the signs of menopause at an early stage.
There is some light on the horizon with:
The taboo around menopause and divorce must be broken. When menopause causes divorce, it is rarely the result of a single factor, but often the culmination of untreated symptoms, miscommunication, and a lack of understanding.
The goal is not to pathologise menopause, but to recognise its profound influence and to treat it with the same seriousness given to other health-related causes of relationship breakdown.
For legal advice about divorce law and the menopause, contact our experienced Whitehead Monckton solicitors today.
Authors: Rhia Davis and Daniel Bennett
