It can feel very daunting to take on the responsibility of trying to reach a sensible outcome when suffering the fallout of a broken down relationship. However the rewards reaped from a successful mediation are immeasurable for you and any children.
Legal advisers have an obligation to offer clients the best possible outcome but at what cost? Apportioning blame to the other person is where it can start to go wrong. How often do people find fault rather than focussing on the positives, especially when not feeling in a good place? Unchecked, such tendencies can help put obstacles in the way of achieving an agreed outcome in mediation.
Some of the obstacles may fall away if we take the trouble to explore them. Is there truly a benefit in putting the blame elsewhere? You might feel better for it but that could be the start of a long and expensive tit for tat, move and counter move game between a couple that were once in love.
Having the capacity to see both sides of a conversation, not just your preferred or chosen view is difficult but doing so can be well worth the effort. Finding therapeutic support, if needed, to help manage emotions better can help a person make the right choice to look for an amicable resolution through mediation.
If you feel that you don’t want to be in the same room as the other person, ways can be found to make mediation work safely.
The benefits of being willing to mediate are many:
- It will be more convenient and cost less than lengthy delays and time wasted in litigious correspondence and court;
- Information will be shared to support your joint decision making;
- The sessions will be unique to your circumstances, not subject to arbitrary determination by a judge who does not know you or your children;
- Mediation offers equal empowerment to the participants;
- Your money needed to house you and provide for you and your children will go further if you avoid going to court;
- The process will encourage you to focus on what really matters and negotiate in safety.
You can choose to invested in making it work where the relationship has failed. Why not give yourself that opportunity?